Sun slag

I am a slag for the sun.

Honestly though, how can anyone not be? That warm fuzzy feeling on your skin, warming your bones, sending glittery vitamins into your cells.

It’s January 26th, currently 16 degrees and bright blue beaming sunshine. I live in Ibiza and it was one of the best moves I could have ever given myself, to continue my love affair with the sun. This is even more special because it’s WINTER sun.

Imagine that, coming from the UK hating winter. Then, completely flipping the narrative and having winter as one of my favourite months! It just shows me that everything is all about perspective.

So, as I sit here writing this, squinting out of one eye to type, I hope you’re all receiving some sunshine from these words wherever you might be in the world.

What does sunshine represent to me?

Well, safety for starters. I feel held, taken care of, supported and loved.

I welcome receiving the heat, the warmth, like the gift I was always meant to receive, charging me, my mood and my emotions. It’s easy for me to receive the sun, he doesn’t have any expectations, I don't have to change, up-level, have an answer. I just have to be.

Contentment.

I feel instantly happier, smiling, and free. Freckles start appearing on my face reminding me that change is the only constant in life.

At this moment, I love my freckles. What a reminder of how much I have grown!

When I was a child I used to hate them, I used to blame the sun for my imperfections, how unfair that I was speckled, and my beautiful friends were not. I used to hide my face from the sun, prevent myself from fully receiving from him. I was scared to be truly visible, as I was, raw in my own skin.

Trying lotions and potions, sunbathing with t-shirts on my face, suffering and stifling my breathing in a moment where I should be relaxing. My poor 8 year old self. How I love and honour her now.

And here is my official apology to mr sun…

I’m sorry that I lived in fear and unworthiness. Thank you for highlighting the beauty and truth within me, inside and out. I’m ready to receive and be seen and shine out, like you have shown me all these years.

I’m sorry that it took me so long to understand the gift that you were showing me. That I am, indeed a gift.